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Dear Sugar,

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[03 Jul 2011|07:12pm]

We are not there yet. We are still in the city.

It's not all bad though. I am now a postie. I have to get up at 4.40am and catch two buses to start my shift. My feet are turning into ugly ballerina feet because of the walking 20 kms per day carrying 16 kilos of mail on my back. And I am getting a sore elbow due to the monotonous repetitive folding and stuffing of the envelopes into the old letterboxes hahaha. But I am earning almost a million dollars more every week, and we are getting close, very close...
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[09 Apr 2011|10:57pm]
Michelle wore a gingham blouse and high-heeled gingham shoes. She painted my nails in sound check. She spilled some on her jeans.
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[27 Jan 2011|08:31pm]
My little baby moved out on Thursday. The first night, I cried myself to sleep. Wet hot tears all down my face and into my pillow. The second night I was awake all night thinking of the possibilities, oh the endless possibilities. The third night I felt like a young girl with my new boyfriend. It's just me and Mikey's place now. We are honeymooners. Now today, I am in a bad mood. I have got used to how she's never coming home. It's all over. I am overwhelmed when I think about how I can be a somebody. How am I going to be a somebody? And it's so fucken hot. I am Cranky with a capital C. I went to the beauty parlour today. I spent more than three hours getting my hair done. I am hilarious.
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[24 Jan 2011|06:53pm]
Next time you say 'wear the gold dress go on, wear the gold dress', I'm going to believe you.
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[18 Jan 2011|04:46pm]
Today is the worst day of the summer, thus far. It is so hot and the humidity is head crushing. We are languid, yet cranky. Almost beaten. We lay about with frowns. Yesterday, my friend rang me up crying her eyes out saying her husband had hurt her maybe even beat her. I said did he beat you with a fist? If he made a fist and hit you I'm coming around there to put a carving knife in him.
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[10 Jan 2011|09:45pm]
This is the last day of our summer holiday. It is raining and the frogs are calling in the yard. They are going mental, as a matter of fact. The word for the season would be socialise. Because we have had more visitors and have visited more people in this past week than in the last maybe million years? I bought clogs in the sales and I've been wearing them with my opera jacket (remember I showed a picture of what my mama was going to buy me for Christmas). I have a dear friend visiting with me, her son done got heself in a REAL pickle. And, selfishly, I am mainly pleased because I get to spend time with her because she lives in the country, and I live in the city, and her son is nearer to me than to her, so she's staying with me. And I am selfishly pleased about that. Only by that aspect though. I am cranky her son is in trouble because it is worrying her. And I don't like that she's worrying. But, of course, you would be. So anyway...
I went to the beach today, with my mama. Like the old days, when I was a child. It rained on the beach. Everybody's hair went curly.
Today is Orthodox Christmas (I think). I should put a card in Nancy over the road's letterbox. I bet my cat, Holiday (who spends all of her time on Nancy's front verandah these days) is even more morbidly obese tomorrow than usual, what with Nancy's penchant for cooking osso bucco FOR THE CAT BECAUSE ALL OF HER GROWN CHILDREN HAVE MOVED AWAY AND HER RECIPES ARE ONLY FOR A MINIMUM OF SIX FREAKING PEOPLE. So that's why my cat hangs there. Holiday!
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[06 Jan 2011|08:00pm]

Today we went on the train to visit with friends. I took pastries from the hellenic bakery. Alison gets in trouble for swearing in front of their baby. They didn't understand why their cat liked me but it doesn't like any other human being, not even them. But I wasn't surprised. Cats like me.

Alison grows asparagus and spinach and cos lettuce. She says she's too impatient for carrot growing, she always pulls them up early when they are mere stumps and then she tries to put them back but, of course, they never recover.

I've painted my nails a garish hot pink. I'm not sure what I think of the colour against my skin.

We bought take away for dinner. We are fat from daily feasts and Christmas Baileys. We are fat but we are happy and beautiful.

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[06 Jan 2011|02:59am]
So far this year, I have four letters to write.
I have had two visitors, not counting Alex, who almost lives here. When we had visitors I served them rosemary and lemon water, which I make myself. On New Year's Eve we were so tired and just grateful to be home after the car incident. We got drunk on beers and stood at the end of the street for the 9 o'clock fireworks display which you can see because our street is high on a hill. Everybody in the neighbourhood comes out to watch, and one day someone is going to get run over there. Anyway, we didn't think we'd still be up at midnight, but we were. And the fireworks came on the telly, and then we could hear the real ones so we ran back out on the street, this time in our pyjamas, well, me in my nightie and my hair was wet from just being washed. We had bare feet.
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[05 Jan 2011|07:15pm]
dark side of my face

Dark side of my face.

Remember when I was so in love with that pink house?
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[04 Jan 2011|04:59pm]
We've been in the country. I'm brown as a berry now because the car broke down between two small towns. Miles and miles of nothing but trees. And very hot, at least 36 degrees it was half past four late in the day. We'd been to see the old relos. Poor Aunty Joyce they put her in a home. They had no choice but she can't accept it. She won't accept it. She held my hand the whole time I was there. Both of my hands, most of the time. Her room smelled like shit.
We were going to go swimming after that, at Wallabah. But the car broke down.
Later in the evening, we strolled by the river. It was a hot evening, everybody was strolling about in the calm of the gloaming. The steeple stood out dark against a blood red sky. Next day, they said the car needed a new engine. We tried to get on the train but there were no seats. We couldn't find a coach company because the post office was closed for the holidays, and nobody was awake at the hotel to use their telephone book. And there's no internet anywhere. So we hitch-hiked all the way to Tamworth. One guy was a farmer, he grows chickpeas and sells them to India. He grows red wheat to feed to sheep and cattle. The sheep and cattle won't eat the weed that grows all by itself by the road, rain or drought. I think we got a touch of heat stroke waiting at Attunga, thumb out for a ride. It was so hot. I felt delirious. We hired a car at Tamworth, for about a million dollars. But it wasn't an ordeal. We didn't even skip a beat.

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[28 Dec 2010|09:54pm]
Nearly ten o'clock on christmas night. Hot as hades. I feel kind of settled. A breeze would be nice. A storm would be nicer. I woke up at six am. The presents looked pretty 'neath the tree. The house was peaceful. The whole street was peaceful.
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[27 Dec 2010|07:35pm]

Raelene. My best friend in high school. I still love her to bits. She was prettier than anybody at the reunion. Raelene. She had a horse.

We went looking at Christmas lights. Good old First Street, Second Street, Third Street and Fourth Street (THEY ARE THEIR REAL NAMES). They put on a show. Every year. To the right of the picture, Ruby and Alex. Alex has the lighter hair.

I'm busy thinking of new year's resolutions. I have two very clear ones. Maybe that will do for this year. They're pretty big ones.
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[19 Dec 2010|06:24pm]

Ages ago, Ondine gave me marigold seeds. See how they shine now?

Lately, I've been suffering my own little identity crisis. Ruby is moving out in about two weeks. I think I'll be ok. I bawled when she started school and I had to creep around the block walking around and around the school building for half the day before arriving there early to collect her. I never let on though. I didn't want to freak her out. So here we are again. I have to let her go. I should feel happy/proud/relieved that she is strong enough and independent enough to move out and live her life. She's so excited. I'm excited too. But it's hard. It's really, really hard. I know I'll have ME time, but fuck me time. I don't need me time. I like my fucken time just the way it is. So I'm a little wobbly at the moment.
We're going to visit Tivoli soon. We're measuring for awnings. I like the stripey canvas type. Old fashioned. I'M old fashioned.
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[17 Dec 2010|08:43pm]
I walked home from work. The air was sultry. It smelled like frangipani. The sun tried to force itself through a silver sky.

A dog got run over in my street. He was just a little dog.
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[12 Dec 2010|08:01pm]
This afternoon Mikey read me my fortune from the newspaper. His interpretation was that we won't move to Tivoli until 2012. But my reckoning sees us there before Christmas 2011.

Out of about six frangipani cuttings from last year only one has taken. It has tiny baby new leaves. Let's cross our fingers its the dark pink one!!!
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[11 Dec 2010|10:43pm]
it was quite hot. We languished. I was thinking of going to carols by candlelight but I was so fatigued by the past fortnight I plain well crashed I suppose I hit a wall. I varnished a bargain find (gorgeous GORGEOUS cane two-seater for ten fucking dollars!!!) and BOY did my head swoon. Volatile. I have two more coats to apply tomorrow. I also have to take Jasmine back to the Quay for her to catch a ferry back to her home because Mikey still can't drive yet 'til Monday because of his operation, and I can't drive his car. Well, I can, but it's a manual... I usually only drive it out of small country towns, and even then I seem to do burnouts and that's on my best behaviour. Truly, the burnouts are by accident only.
We watched Electric Horseman... one of my favourite movies in the world. Even though I have to get past the horse was probably on tranquilisers for it to be in a movie which appears to be against drugging horses for to satiate our need for animoos to entertain us against their wishes.
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[10 Dec 2010|10:22pm]

The train

St James Station

Working harbour.
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[10 Dec 2010|10:12pm]
Well I have five minutes peace.

Earlier today I caught the train to Circular Quay to meet Jasmine. She caught the ferry over because Mikey still can't drive 'til monday. It really was a pleasant evening to be lurking around the quay.

It has been one week exactly since Mikey came home from the hospital.

He's started being MEAN. Saying things like 'you smell the dog smells your breath stinks you watch a disgusting amount of tv' kind of thing (this was his general demeanour and directed at five of us or so).


He bought pink carnations.
To say sorry.
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[10 Dec 2010|12:04pm]

Somebody's little drawings from their strange little blog.


I really like them.

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[04 Dec 2010|07:49pm]
My husband is home. I wear long feather earrings, shoulder-dusters. I make him a red wine casserole. He has bruising and, for the first day, was a little green in the face. I carry the slab home on my shoulder, like a man.
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